he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
