dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
NoShamevember. You game?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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