I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
