just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I didn't notice because vodka
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize