So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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