Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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