so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
