I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
