i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
