I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
