I heard we made out
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
