Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
