lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
