I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
