im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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