he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
