would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Crop dusting thru forever 21
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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