i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
