went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
