We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
