All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
