yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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