Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
