We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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