Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
