it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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