He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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