Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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