Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
