My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
