There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
