her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
