For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
