i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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