this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
