I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
