my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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