all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
