First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
