ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize