are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
