she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
