i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
