Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
