it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
