I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
