i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
