hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
