Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
