bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
