Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I love having hate sex.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
