Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?