I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation