I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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