I heard we made out
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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