Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.