But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You may now shotgun with the bride
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe