Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
