Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
