This girl is more easily done than said...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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