Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
