He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
