My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
