so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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