I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
