I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
