belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
