do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I lost the right to judge tonight
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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