i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
