try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
