does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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