omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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