I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize